You don’t know how to talk to people.
They don’t want to talk to you.
Every rejection echoed these words in my mind, amplifying my self-doubt.
A rejection message is actually better than silence: at least your brain has something to argue with.
This year, I finally joined a public speaking group I’d long avoided.
The reason was embarrassingly simple. When I was a teenager I had this idea of becoming an actor. I never had the acting skills, but that was not what stopped me: it was my friends telling me I would be the worst actor who ever lived.
I have to admit that it is true that words can hurt sometimes.
The comments still surfaced whenever I considered public speaking.
I don’t fully understand why our brain keeps bullying us with reminding these ridiculous stories. I guess, it is a way to protect yourself from future failures based on past experiences. However, it sometimes does more damage than benefit.
I decided to fight it.
Joining a public speaking group revealed I wasn’t as bad as I feared. Actually I would consider myself pretty good at it. Most importantly I truly enjoy it.
Most people in the room admitted they had avoided this for years, which made me feel less alone and more curious about why I had too.
Apparently people are afraid of public speaking more than they are afraid of death. I have never really felt this way.
For me the biggest problem was always to deliver the message and keep the audience engaged and leave them with a thought.
I couldn’t figure out how to prepare for it.
Initially, I started with recording it on my phone.
Recording yourself and then watching it back is a special kind of torture I would not recommend to anyone. Didn’t work for me.
I asked my wife to be my audience three times; by the third time she had developed a very specific look that told me this was not going to work.
Let me put it in other words: if you want to get into a fight ask your partner such favour a couple of times.
Again, I had no idea how to practice my speech before bigger event.
Talking to a mirror? I don’t think so.
An app? I tried a couple of apps I found but nothing really worked the way I wanted.
I then started looking if AI is already smart enough to help me with such problem. It turns out it was.
I built a simple tool that listened to my practice runs, flagged filler words, and told me where I lost my own thread, and it was enough to get me through my first real speech.
I felt prepared. I delivered the speech. I was told it was great.
After the speech someone asked how I had prepared, and when I showed them the tool I had built, three people asked for the link before I had finished explaining it.
Quickly the app expanded to 100+ users and now helps them improve their speaking skills.
Most importantly it allows them to be aware of the errors they keep making.
Life is quite funny.
I built a tool to fix my own problem, shared it because I had nothing to lose, and it turned out other people were as stuck as I was, so ultimately I managed to help more than just myself.